Mr Sugarcube in a Tale of two Sugarcubes
by Clawdiuzz
Summary: Random Baccano one-shot originally intended for a friend, so sorry if it's weird XD Scumbag dude is based on scumbag dude from Durarara (Hiroshi?) P.S. Mr. Sugarcube is that guy that always eats sugarcubes.


One day, Mr. Sugarcube went to get one of his cubes from his packet, only to find that there were only two left. At first he could not believe his eyes and stood there, staring into the packet for a long time. He would have continued to do so had his boss not came up behind him.

Boss: ...What are you doing?

Mr. Sugarcube: Sugarcube.

Boss: Why, don't mind if I do! *Reaches in and takes Sugarcube*

Mr. Sugarcube stared at his boss in disbelief as he placed one of his last remaining cubes in his mouth and sucked on it contentedly. A muscle twitched above Mr. Sugarcube's eye but he said nothing and continued to stare into the box.

Mr. Sugarcube: ...I need to get some more... *Turns around and leaves*

Boss: *sucking Sugarcube* Hmmm...

Mr. Sugarcube checked his watch. It was getting late and the shops would soon close if he didn't hurry. He quickened his pace but was halted by a man falling at his feet. He looked down at the man and attempted to step around him only to be blocked by Firo as he jumped after the man.

Firo: Yo! Mr. Sugarcube! Sorry if I'm causing you any trouble, but this guy just tried to steal my wallet! What a scumbag...

Scumbag: Hey shaddup maaan, I like, need you money, maaaan!

Firo: *Grabs scumbag's shirt* You're lucky this isn't a crossover with Durarara or you'd be getting stomped on right now!

Mr. Sugarcube: ...

Firo: Ah! I apologise, sir. Please go on ahead. *steps out of the way*

Mr. Sugarcube stepped around the ensuing fight and checked his watch once more. He had 10 minutes less now and the shops would close in 30 minutes. He sighed in silent exasperation and continued to walk quickly. On the way, he passed the train station and initially intended to pay no attention to it until he heard a sound coming from inside one of the trains.

Isaac: Ah! I'm sorry! We didn't mean to sneak on here!

Miria: Waa! Isaac! Isaac!

Isaac: Miria!

Miria: Isaaaaac!

Vino: Jeeze... what the hell is up with you freaks?

Isaac: We had no money-

Miria: And we just thought...

Isaac: If we need to get somewhere-

Isaac + Miria: Why not sneak on a train?

Mr. Sugarcube stood outside listening in amusement at the developing conversation as he reached into his box before remembering he was down to his last cube and decided to save it for an emergency.

Vino: I don't care about your good ideas! No ticket, no ride! That's the deal!

Miria: Aaah! Isaaaac!

Isaac: Nandai, Miriaaa?

Miria: What do we do Isaac? He looks scary!

Isaac: Very scary!

Miria: Kowaii!

Vino: Ugh... You people are immortal right?

Miria: *Turns away* Are we?

Isaac: *Turns away too* Don't know...

Miria: What if we say we are?

Isaac: Ah! Then he will surely let us go out of fear!

Miria: Ah!

Isaac: Aaaah!

Miria: Oh Isaac! You're so CLEVER!

Isaac: I know!

Vino: Umm...

Isaac + Miria: *Turning to face Vino* OF COURSE WE ARE!

Vino: Excellent :]

Miria: Hm? *whispering* Isaaaaac...

Isaac: N...Nandai...M...Miria?

Miria: I'M SCARED!

Mr. Sugarcube listened in interest as the sound of bones crunching could be heard from within the train followed by a lot of screaming. He checked his watch once again, realising that he had been standing a while. He quickly turned away from the train and continued to make his way towards the sugar cube shop (that's what HE calls it, it's just a normal shop really XD)

Eventually he came across Ennis who suddenly ran into him.

Ennis: *Bowing* Oh! Uh! I apologise! S...Sorry!

Mr. Sugarcube: ...S'alright.

Ennis: Have you seen Firo? He was chasing after some guy and I lost him...

Mr. Sugarcube: That way. *Points behind him*

Ennis: Ah! Thank you! *Bows again and runs in direction of Firo*

Mr. Sugarcube: ...

A little while later, with just 7 minutes to spare until the shops closed, Mr. Sugarcube found himself running in attempt to make it in time when a man in an anorak bumped into him, causing him to drop his last Sugarcube. He stared down in horror as the man's dog proceeded to lick his Sugarcube eventually devouring it.

Scumbag 2: Hey man, watch where you're goin' yo!

Dog: Woof.

Mr. Sugarcube: (M...My Sugarcube...)

Scumbag 2: Aincha gonna apologise or somethin'?

Mr. Sugarcube: ...(M...My...)

Scumbag 2: Hey maaaan! *stares into Mr. Sugarcube's face*

Mr. Sugarcube: Y...Your dog ate my sugarcube.

Scumbag 2: Yeah? And?! He was hungry, yo! You shouldn't run maaaan!

Mr. Sugarcube: *Eye twitching* Your dog. Ate. My Sugarcube.

Scumbag 2: Yeeeah! Whachoo gonna do 'bout it huh?!

Mr. Sugarcube: *Grabs scumbag 2's shirt* YOUR FILTHY MUTT ATE MY LAST DAMN SUGAR

CUBE!

Scumbag 2: W...Whoaaa maaaan!

Mr. Sugarcube grabbed the bottom of the man's trousers and lifted him into the air, spinning him in a full circle before throwing him against a wall. He grabbed the barking dog at his ankles and pulled out a penknife, cutting the dog's stomach open.

Mr. Sugarcube: I'll have my Sugarcube back now.

Scumbag 2: WTF Maaaaan?!

Mr. Sugarcube: Quiet you. *Throws knife between man's eyes*

Mr. Sugarcube went and retrieved his knife after failing to find his Sugarcube in the dog's intestines. He checked his watch and realised that he had missed the shops. He looked down at the ground in despair, ready to panic when he remembered something – He always kept a spare packet in his room in case of emergencies like this! He laughed happily to himself as he wiped his knife on the scumbag's shirt and kicked the dog's carcass out of the way. By the time he arrived home, he had returned to his usual, quietly happy self.

Boss: Been anywhere interesting?

Mr. Sugarcube: No.

Mr. Sugarcube smiled to himself secretly and popped a Sugarcube into his mouth.

**THE END!**


End file.
